Life is good...

Dear World,

     I found this picture today and wanted to share it with you. Our lives have changed so much since it was taken... and we are finally getting our footing. We have an incredible new teacher and Matt is thriving in school. I could not be more impressed by his sense of humor, kindness, even being stern when needed to be, and a true love for what he does. In fact his only flaw is that he is a Packer's fan(if you ask Matt) 

      Mike's new career has taken hold and the company is growing stronger everyday. His boss called me yesterday to tell me how hard he is trying to get us someplace that works for us to be a family. He is an incredibly honorable and Godly man and it is nice to see.

      My faith is finally growing again after a bit of a sabbatical... time, space and reflection have showed me how much it was hurt by the wrong influence. I will choose my teachers with greater clarity in the future. I take some responsibility too(don't get me wrong)

      Our dog population....well it was 2 then 3 then 2 then 3 and now 2 again. We had fostered a little hound dog that we called PJ. He was here when we had to put Charlie down. We all tried to resist his charms but he floppy ears and coon baying won us all over as he licked our crying faces. What can I say... the Willits are dog people.

       Me...Well, I have finally managed to get a handle on things (between photo shoots and editing) but the yard? Well thankfully my new neighbors are not yard people either. They totally get the morning glories growing in the center of the yard! I miss the days when Mike made this his personal battle. Someday:-) I am really loving life right now though. Despite the unconventionalness of it. I am so thankful to have such a man beside me. He is my hero and he knows it.  I also value the closeness I have found with Mike's grandma. I really should start writing down all the stories she has told me. I would not trade our time for anything!

        Well that just about sums it up! Off to pick up Matt from and early out day. Lucky kid

~M

Saying goodbye

 Yesterday was a very hard day at the Willits house...

After 13 years of love and loyalty we had to make the hardest decision.

After seeing Charlie  battle cancer for the few weeks we decided it was time to let him go.

The hardest part was the the nights were really ugly and we were 100% sure it was time.

Then the morning would come and life would pour back into his sweet face.

 On the 4th of July Mike took Charlie for a ride so he would get some fresh air. They were gone a while and I was starting to wonder when Mike texted me that they were swimming at the pond. Charlie...he had not really slept much in days. He had not kept any food down in forever and he was throwing up...I will spare you the details... Yet, he swam and swam and wagged his tail the whole time. It was honestly almost too much for Mike and I. Seeing him so full of life when we knew he was dying was a true bitter sweet. I won't lie we both kinda hoped his heart would just give out.

 It did not...

 When we got back home he was wet and cold and incredibly exhausted. I bundled him up and we took turns sitting with him.

 Mike told him that he would take him swimming again tomorrow. 

That night Charlie was sicker than ever. Mike spent the whole night with him. 

We knew it was time.

That morning I called the vet and made the appointment.

 We had one more stop though. 

Mike had promised him swimming...

One last swim before we say goodbye old friend.

 He was exhausted and running on nothing and Mike and I half wondered if he even could

Mike said to me... "there is no way he is going to want to swim"

He was wrong.

Charlie's heart was weak and his swim was weaker but he swam and wagged his tail...

Little did Mike and I know that Charlie also knew it was his last time in the pond. 

He REFUSED to get out. Mike and I tried everything...

Called gently, yelled, threw sticks...

nothing worked.

He knew when he left that water it was over for him. 

Again, this was almost too much for Mike and I. Torn between tears and laughter.

Finally I went in and grabbed ahold of him. My feet are still covered in mud as I write this. It is a sweet reminder of Charlie's last hurrah.

 After we got him out of pond he collapsed on the way back to the truck. 

Mike flew to the truck and backed it up down the path to rescue Charlie.

Again, Mike and I were in awe as he stood up to smell the air and say goodbye to his pond.

We drove from the pond to the vet where Mike and I held him as his heart was stopped and his pain was ended. 

We were very blessed to have him live to be 13 and still be in such good health right to the end. We are still adjusting to life without Charlie and Portis... and our heart hurt ever so much. However, I would not trade any of it for a life without dogs. They are worth every penny. 

Charlie...

 It is a special breed of people that would get what Mike and I are going through right now...
I know this, and I am glad to be a part of that circle.
It is such a mix of emotions...let me take you back
Mike and I got Charlie 13 years ago. We had been married just a few years and we were ready for a baby...well kind of. We wanted a chocolate lab. We found a litter of puppies and went out to pick out our puppy. The litter he came from had 8 puppies and the woman told us that Charlie was the smartest one of the litter. She said no matter what I try I can't keep him in the box. He wants to explore. Charlie played intently with a dried up leaf as the other puppies in the litter doggy piled on each other. We decided he was the one, and Mike confidently claimed him with a little green collar. A few weeks later we received a call from the woman saying he was weaned and she way ready to get rid of the 8 puppies that were driving her crazy.  I was gone that weekend working and Mike spent the whole time snuggled up with our new fur child. I still remember coming home to visit and seeing the two of them napping together.  He spent the next two years by Mike's side. He was the luckiest dog in the world. Charlie's world was about to change though in so many ways. First Matt came into the picture... he went from being the center of our world to second to Matt. Then Mike was promoted and Charlie was no longer able to go to work with him... So we made the decision to get him a friend. That is when Portis came into the picture. Oh Portis... life would never be the same again.

As I type this Charlie is sleeping next to me. He has been fighting hard for the past  month for his life. His heart is weak and his body is full of things that should not be there...and yet he fights. He has moments when Mike and I think if we could we would just end it... Then he pops up and wags his tail and smiles at us. (Yes, dogs do smile) Mike took him for a drive this morning only to end up at the pond. Charlie found the puppy inside himself and swam for over an hour. We literally had to drag him away from the pond. If you knew the condition of his health this would amaze you.

 Im pretty sure it was the last time he will see his beloved pond.

 Dear Charlie,
You have been more than a good dog. You have been a great dog. You have been in Matt's life since day one. You have been protective and kind. You saved Mike when he needed it most, and protected me when I needed it most. You showed Matt why having a dog is better than having stuff. You are a true example of what unconditional love means. You softened the blow of so many things. You were a pillow, a sounding board, a catcher of weeds and rocks and tennis balls, an amazing swimmer, and a friend. You were worth every penny and you were honestly cheap.

 Oh Charlie...

 What in the world will it be like without you?

Charlie, as I sit here and watch for you to take your last breath...part of me hoping it will be over soon and part of me hoping that you will just pop up and be fine for another three years... I can't help but think two things.
1. Why in the world do we have to lose two amazing dogs so close together? I know the answer to this one though.
2. There must be some truth to what they say about Dog being God spelled backwards. The love they show is a perfect example of unconditional trust if they are lucky enough to live in the hearts of those who value it.

Thank you Charlie for being a part of our life for 13 wonderful years. You have blessed us beyond what we ever imagined. I hope we blessed you too.

Saying hello

I have not blogged much. It seems like the last thing I have time for. I am seeing so many things come to an end lately and I just have to step back and breathe...

There was the school year. The hardest one we have ever had. I am so glad that is over. Matt continues to amaze me. He is a way better student than I ever was. He is also a fighter for his beliefs and that is something I am very proud of.

There was the death of Portis. I still have moments when I really miss him. I am so thankful for those around me that expressed condolences. He was worth every penny we ever paid for him. 

There were losses of other kinds too. Some that I can't even explain. 

A very long drawn out winter did not help any of this. 

I am so thankful for spring though and seeing the trees hold blooms for an extended period of time made it all worth it. 

I am very hopeful for all the new beginnings in my life!! 

One day at a time...

Even though it feels like a week at a time right now. 

Here is to new beginnings! 

Heartache...

I will never forget it...

We lived in Billings at the time. 

My friend Lisa asked me if I knew anyone who wanted a dog. They had one show up and refuse to leave. They already had two dogs and did not want three. Charlie had been going to work with Mike for the past two years and now that was no longer an option. Getting another dog to keep Charlie company seemed like a great idea.

I asked Mike about it and he replied.."Well what kind of dog is he?"...some kind of hound dog.."I don't really want a hound dog" I replied in my ever smooth way "well lets just foster him until we find someone else to take him" 

The next day Mike when to his yearly Antelope Camp...and a 12 month old Matthew and I went to pick up our "foster dog". She told me when I picked him up that the vet had confirmed that he was a 9 month old Plott hound. 

It took exactly a week for all of us to be totally and completely in love with him. He was trouble! He loved to chew things up, he loved to dig, and he loved to run.

At the same time he loved us! He loved to cuddle, he loved to paw at us to get what he wanted. He was also the most beautiful dog I had ever seen. 

 He will probably always be the most beautiful dog that I will ever meet. 

He stole our hearts over and over again.
There are so many funny stories and quirks about him.
He had a thing for girls...He loved to tug on the pockets of them to get their attention. It was quite cute and comical.
He had a thing for ice cream and before he was diagnosed with Addison's 5 years ago he was an extremely picky eater and ice cream was about the only thing that he went crazy over. 

This is probably my all time favorite picture of him. 

It shows him in all his goofiness. 

This was his chair. He claimed it from them minute we brought it home. He always laid like that in it. If you dared get in his chair he would stare at you until you got up. Mike and I always regretted getting rid of it.

We have so many funny stories about him.

There was the time at the dog park that he fell in the stream and a stranger had to jump in and save him from drowning...he was no swimmer:-)

I had no idea what a plott hound was before him. I would bet many of you had no idea before reading this or knowing us. 

Turns out Portis is a picture perfect Plott. He is stubborn, quirky, intelligent, goofy, and amazing. 

He is in one word...unforgettable.

He made everyone around him smile...even Charlie

He hated the water, but loved to ride in boats! You can't tell me that is not odd. Who ever heard of a dog that was afraid of water and yet would sit in a row boat for an hour waiting for Mike to take him out on the pond?

Then there was Matt...

They grew up together. It is such a shame that the energy of Portis' youth was wasted on a toddler that could not put it to good use.  Portis has been there through almost all of Matt's first's. All of his first days of school, all his last days of school, and all the in betweens. The two of them have loved and teased each other much over the years. 

Mike may have not wanted a hound dog but he had not idea how much room Portis would steal in his heart. Portis loved Mike so much. In the last few weeks he was Mike's shadow whenever he was home.  At night Portis would even sleep right on top of him. Mike would chuckle at how uncomfortable he was but how he knew Portis needed to know he was there. 

This is one of my all time favorite pictures. I love it even more now.  It just makes me smile to see the two of them curled up together napping. Both in their happy place.

And then there is Charlie... 

He is probably taking this the hardest. He and Portis have had each other for so long. They were never alone. They were buddies and best friends. 

The last few days have been so hard. Charlie is so sad and I can't fix it.  

Hard to believe it was over a year ago when Chester and Portis met. Chester loved to pick on Portis...in fact I think he lived for it. Portis loved to tattle on Chester too. Despite that Chester too was deeply saddened by the loss too. 

Oh Portis...

You might not have always been a good dog, but you were always a great dog. You changed our lives so much. You taught Matt all about friendship, unconditional love, and obnoxious brothers. You also taught him about death. That last one kind of stinks though.

I know the day will come that I will laugh more than I will cry when I think about you. I know there will come a day when I will remember your goofy faces more than the pain and sickness you suffered on the last hours of your life. Until then I just keep reminding myself that all this pain is from the blessing of loving you so much. 

Yes, you were a dilly! 

I debated posting this picture but in the end I decided to post it. This blog is ultimately me documenting our life..."great and not so great...right" 

Mike could not be with us when we took Portis to the vet. I took this photo for him. I keep finding myself looking at it though. 

Rest in peace my beautiful boy.  

I know my Heaven will be filled with dogs. 

Portis will be there pulling on my pockets.

Quite a fisherman

Matt has really taken to fly fishing...well that is an understatement

He probably wakes up at night setting the hook as he dreams about fishing.

It has come to be as easy as breathing for him.

He was even featured recently in a popular fishing blog

2 Sergeants Fly Fishing

I think his future is being written in line and tipit... 

Christmas morning

My MIL is really creative. Every year her packages get more detailed. There were a few that were actually wrapped like a fish. They were opened before I could get a picture. 

 Then inside the package were lots of smaller packages that were all wrapped with pictures of Matt through the years. It was a walk down memory lane.

 What is in the bag????

 Are you kidding??

It's a whole chicken!!! Just what every little boy wants right! 

My handsome husband! He got poppers from Matt. 

My MIL in her new hat. 

Thank you Bob and Cheryl for a really nice Christmas. We love when you are here. 

Mike took this picture of Bob. It is one of my all time favorites. 

Matt got right to work tying flies with all his new supplies. This is a March Brown, his favorite new fly to tie.