Dear 2012,

I can not look forward to 2012 without a glance back to 2011. I thought it was a rough one for our family. I know it was not easy living mostly apart and in a constant state of "Where, Why, When" I have always been known for being an optimist but last year that part of me disappeared for a time. Then we hit the last four months of 2011 and life was good.  The thing is... our problems were not even real problems. That is the one thing I have learned in the past few weeks. There are so many families I know that had real problems in 2011. A few days ago I was told about a family fighting a really tough battle of cancer. Here is the kicker, the battle is with a 12 year old daughter. Last night as I read the New Years Eve post from her mom...I thanked God for every second of 2011(even the crappiest of the crappy ones)
Here is her post

New Year's Eve

Shannon is resting a little more peacefully after a rough start this morning. Her breathing became shallow and raspy sounding, possibly due to increased cranial pressure, again. She has been asking for water all day as she tries to clear her chest. It has taken a while for the morphine and Ativan to help calm her down and allow her lungs to relax. We’re hoping for a more restful night - no 3:00am milkshake! - but we’ll take it as it comes...

It's New Year's Eve, a night where we always reflect on the past year and think about the one ahead. I could never have anticipated what would happen to us in 2011.

Last year at this time, we were busy with all the normal life things - school, jobs, hockey, and basketball. Life was sailing along, and we were busy planning our big family spring break trip to New York City and Washington D.C.

Our trip was one of those where you do all the legwork to prepare for how to spend your time and what sights to see and then, magically, things go just as you had hoped they would. We have a couple hundred photos from the trip, pictures of our "perfect" little family with the girls at just the right ages to enjoy it. Shannon and Erin smiling in Times Square, goofing in Central Park, taking in the history at the U.S. Capitol, and the obligatory pose outside the White House. Not a clue that two weeks later, Shannon would be diagnosed.

So now I sit here and reflect on that time B.D. - before diagnosis, and the ensuing 8 months that bring us to today. Those carefree spring break days are a moment in time, but the lessons we've learned since April 15th changed us, changed me in ways I couldn't imagine.

We learned new medical terminology and we learned our way around the campus of the Mayo Clinic. We learned about perseverance and a positive attitude from our own child. We learned that people are kind and generous beyond belief. We learned that people like our kids and they like us. We learned to take each day as it comes. We learned to enjoy the good days. We learned to battle through the bad days and stay together no matter where life takes us - even to Tennessee.

I learned some things about myself, too. I learned that writing is cathartic for me. I learned that I can make good friends. I learned that I can be strong. I learned that having things planned and staying on schedule isn't as important as I thought. I learned that I love being a mother.

2012 is almost here. Happy New Year.  

link to blog

I still can not read her last line without crying. Being a mother is not always easy. In fact sometimes it is downright hard. But Thank you God for the opportunity to be one.
so in 2012,
all I ask is that my worst moments are not ones I remember in 2013. I ask that you never let me forget how blessed we are.  That is all.