Looking back

It is funny how time can be frozen.  We all have those moments where we remember right were we were... what we were doing...what we were wearing... but certainly how we felt.  There are a few events that connect us as a county.  I am sure everyone can remember right where they were on September 11, 2001 for example.  Other events are more isolated and hold you close only to those who are near you.  I am sure you all have something in mind as you read this.  One of my moments happened two years ago,  on this very day.  Mike, Matthew and I were driving home from our Thanksgiving in Montana.  We were at a yellow gas station in South Dakota(I think, Mike would know for sure) I remember the gas station well and it will forever be a place in my mind.  We had just pulled up to get gas when Mike's phone rang to tell us that his grandfather had passed away....forever I will remember the moment.

Before I met Mike I would have never understood this pain.  I never really knew my grandparents, they all died before I was born or when I was really little.  The whole concept of being so connected to a grandparent was new to me.   Then, I met the kindest and most loving people on earth.   They still are to this day, the best people I have ever met.  I can still think back on almost all the kind things they have said to me over the years and how much I needed to hear it.   I met them before I even knew my own family was ..shall we say, "out there".  I will never forget Clair telling me how much he did not get how my parents could not see how wonderful I was.  It was and always will be a golden-nugget-moment in my life.

I just heard on the radio the other day how incredibly good it is for a little boy to be called, "buddy" by his dad or grandfather.  It reinforces a sense of stability to the boy.  I have to say that this must be true.  If  there ever were two buddies, it was Mike and Clair.  When Clair told Mike his goodbyes in the hours before he passed he said to him, "Goodbye my little buddy" I can tell you that there were millions of   words and stories wrapped up in that one little word.

It is hard to believe that it has been two years since that moment at the yellow gas station.  If there is one thing I have learned it is that I want to be remembered like that.  I want to be honorable and kind.  I want to be unselfish and full of wisdom.  I want to make sure I honor my country by being aware of what is going on in it.  I want to share what I love with others. More important than all of that I want to be missed by my family.  Too often we get so wrapped up in life that we forget what it really is all about.  If no one missed you what a waste that would be.

We miss and love you Clair...and you were right about Matthew, he is pretty darn smart.  More important than that, he is good hearted, just like you.